Glorious news, people! The renowned professor of pandemicology, Dr. Donald Trump, has found the magical antidote to coronavirus that had eluded lesser scientists. It’s the Peter Cottontail Solution.
While sitting in the Rose Garden, the resident White House Pandemicologist said that it suddenly dawned on him that, Hippity-hoppity, Easter’s on its way! So, he declared that he was ready to lift all those pesky health restrictions and “have the country opened up” by Easter.